Sibling Rivalry and Conflict
(what astrology can do here)
I am adding sibling rivalry and conflict to the work I do (rather, I *always* did this work, but I am now speaking/advertising it more explicitly), because I am aware of how deeply our family relationships (particularly) impact us.
I don’t have opinions on whether or not “blood ties” require a special amount of loyalty or devotion or compromise.
I do have that if we can make relating easier, more fulfilling, more skillful, life usually feels better.
From an astrological perspective (this is the modality that is also the hill I will die on b/c it is so helpful) there’s a number of layers to look at - how different/similar the two siblings are from each other, obviously.
But - we can also look at (and here’s where it get’s fascinating):
~ How each sibling perceives their parents (not at ALL the same usually, and this is where we can begin to get at whether or not there is perceived or real favoritism at play). As an example, one sibling may perceive the parent as fair and calm, while the other perceives the parent as intense and mercurial.
~ How the siblings are predisposed to either have friction or friendship based on what parts of each other they activate and *how* those parts get activated (astrology is so detailed and precise). Maybe the siblings are predisposed to make each other feel inadequate or defensive? Maybe one sibling sees the other as extremely powerful and frightening? Maybe the siblings activate each other’s autonomy needs?
~ How “in affinity” each sibling is with each parent and how this may constellate feelings of jealousy or being the black sheep, if one child just innately finds it more difficult to relate to the parents. Maybe the whole family is very “airy,” emotionally detached and intellectual, except for the one deeply emotional, intense, and artistic kid?
~ How the parent feels about the sibling relationship (the relationship between the siblings as a third entity) and how they may be unwittingly contributing to the frictional dynamic between the children based on how they relate to the relationship itself (yeah, it’s a bit of a mindfuck to think about this one in particular).
I’ll use myself as an example here - according to the astrological analysis, there’s a way in which the relationship between my kids feels very good to me. It feels similar to me as a person, it feels generatively and positively influenced by me, I feel in affinity and in deep belonging with it. Because I feel this way, it is easy for me to foster *the relationship* between the two kiddos.
~ Once we have all this info, we are able to create very specific and customized strategies, skills, and supports to validate, unshame, shift, and stabilize the sibling dynamic.
Knowledge is power.
You do not have to accept or agree with (astrological) knowledge - accessing (astrological) knowledge does not contractually oblige you to anything - like acceptance or resistance.
Astrology is indigenous wisdom. I stand by this modality. And - I do not practice this modality in the “pop” astrology way. My lineage is very different, very psychological, very therapeutic - powerful & pragmatic.
There is no spirituality involved (eg, this is not meant to conflict with or replace existing spiritual practices for my clients) and there is no divination or fatalism involved (eg, my clients should not feel afraid of getting told they have an “ill-fated” chart or any such utter nonsense.)
A sampler of my values (a vibe check for you):
~ mysticism and science are not mutually exclusive
~ anti-capitalism
~ community, mutual aid, social justice - we all belong to each other, we are each other’s problems
~ children are more human than adults (usually)
I am a (trauma-informed, multiply-certified) parenting coach, a relating coach, a co-parenting coach, a neurodivergence (ADHD/AuDHD/autistic) coach, an astrologer, a human design analyst, and more.