What (Unhelpful) Core Belief Might Be Driving This Behavior?

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In my work, what we’re try to do is achieve a neurological phenomenon called a memory reconsolidation. (we use a lot of different modes to get there, including pragmatic astrology, integrative change work , integrative hypnosis, yoga, movement, somatic tracking, and therapeutic gamification)

What this means:

an engram, a core belief about yourself or how the world works, a trauma complex, a knowing, an unpleasant core memory, etc. can profoundly influence mood, behavior, desired outcomes for a person.

It’s like a program has been installed and is just running, giving the same output over and over. It is the unconscious roots that keep producing the same tree or the same weed over and over again.

It is so strong that it can literally prevent us from seeing things “as they are” or prevent us from accessing any sort of alternate meaning or interpretation than the one that is linked to the program.

That’s how I think of the modifier “limiting” in the phrase “limiting belief.” I think to most people “limiting” in this context means, limiting getting what you desire, limiting the potential to manifest, etc.

To me, it’s subtly different - it literally limits what we’re able to take in from reality, from the world, right here, right now. So it’s not just limiting some desired aspirational future, it’s limiting our perception of the world in immediacy.

A lot of times the unconscious core belief superficially has very little connection to the unpreferred or unpleasant outcome the person has consciously identified. Which makes it even harder to make the unconscious engram conscious, so we can begin to work with it consciously.

So that’s the goal - how do we identify the unconscious limiting belief, so we can begin to search for - or even create in real time - some disconfirming information that our system can use to update the engram through the process of memory reconsolidation?

Of course, a memory reconsolidation can happen without any of this conscious work, it just is a lot more unpredictable and generally speaking, less likely to occur.

So what I’m trying to get at is, we’re constantly trying for this memory reconsolidation, or in other words, to get a limiting belief to update, to expand, to rectify, to be more self compassionate, to be more self-uplifting vs. self-defeating.

Psychologically, there are many layers of beliefs/ideas/rules/knowings we have. But at the very bottom of the strata, the “psychological floor” (credit to Jules Taylor Shore for this phrase) usually there are strong (negative and unhelpful AND untrue!!) beliefs about two foundational basic things: self-worth and safety.

So, non-verbal, middle-brain, implicit or procedural memories where your system *knows* - as strongly as it knows that gravity is real - that you’re a bad person, that you don’t deserve love, that the world is dangerous, that love will annihilate you, that it’s unsafe to take up space, that visibility means danger, that whatever bad thing happens you somehow deserved, etc.

Of course the conscious mind scoffs at this - and that’s precisely where we get tripped up. The conscious mind thinks, there’s no way that I actually believe this, or, I’ve moved past this.

This ended up being a longer than intended preamble for one exercise/idea to try to achieve progress on a memory reconsolidation. Here’s something to try out/muse on:

As we begin this work of self-expansion and self-evolution, we’ll begin to notice and catch ourselves in the old, undesired patterns and behaviors. If it feels available in the moment (or take a mental note to revisit the moment later when you have time to process it more thoroughly and calmly), ask yourself:

What (unhelpful, limiting) *core belief* (aka, what “rule” about how the world works or should work, or what unconscious belief about myself - that was likely formed when I was a small child) might be driving this behavior?

Now, just notice/consider in a non-shaming/non-despairing/non-judging way: would the person I want to be (my aspirational self) engage in this behavior, in this feeling, in these actions, in these thoughts?

If not, chances are the core belief that’s the root driver of this pattern is from that category of problematic self-worth/safety unconscious knowings.

It’s important to allow yourself to verbalize something that - to the conscious mind - might feel weak, ridiculous, illogical, childish, selfish, embarrassing, “bad.”

You don’t have to get this verbalization of the core limiting belief “perfect.” A follow-up question might be, what’s its basic “flavor?” shame, fear, vengeance, etc? Or: “it’s around something like….”

Next, ask: What NEW core belief do I want to drive me in the future, in similar situations, to produce altered behavior and healthier patterns?

Then, play with: If I truly believed and embodied this behavior with (and this is the important part) not just my pre-frontal cognitive cortex, but all the way through my emotional middle brain down into my procedural brain stem, aka, with my whole system, in an embodied, integrated, both conscious and unconscious way, how would my actions/behaviors/thoughts/feelings be different in this scenario that triggered the unwanted pattern?

In other words, what new pattern do I want to run? And what belief would trigger or match that new pattern?

Lastly, can I remember this new, updated belief and take a small action that aligns with it right now? What would that action be?

And if I can connect to this belief in the future, in moments where I’m triggering the old pattern, what’s a small and easy way that connecting to this new belief might change the existing pattern, just a little? Something that feels doable, that feels wanted by me?

If that feels too hard, to change the pattern mid-action, then what’s something in the category of after-care or post-processing (that happens after the pattern) that I can change a little? Maybe how I talk to myself? How I repair with others? How much (or how little) shame/guilt I carry forward?

There’s a way where, artificially, and in the beginning, really cognitively, we can play with creating disconfirming information for the old pattern/belief. Just by declaring - this is what I want the update to be, and if that update were in place, what new, unexpected, cool, desired things would I be doing/thinking/feeling?

Ok, so if I write this new belief down in my brain, and connect it to a newer pattern or a pattern update, how does that feel? Does that work? Do I need to workshop it? Does it feel too hard? Am I forcing something too much? Ok, let’s be really honest but also really hopeful and problem-solve-y. Let’s keep tweaking, testing, and playing!